Just a little poem by me

How do you manage to piss off all the people you care about in one day , one hour , or even thirty minutes?

Just one word , one look , one eye roll, says it all.
No smiles not talking.
Just because you feel mad , sad, or angry you dont need to take it out on everyone else.
Just because you dont want to see the truth.

What if you are tired? Tired of people being around.
You just want to be alone.
But people are always going to be there.
No matter where you go they are always there.

So before you go to take another drink, or light up that cigarette.
STOP THINK!
Is this what im gonna do everytime I get mad, or upset.
Im still hurting!
Is this really how I want to live my life.
Drink to drink..
Just stop scream, hit something.
Because Scars heal heart take time.
A LONG TIME.


By Donna Lea

So here I am

So I have made it half way through this. It is so hard but I have an awesome group of friends to help me through this. I have been dealing with depression for a couple of months now. Its not easy. trying to keep my job and fighting this. Some times I wake up and I dont even want to go to work but I have to fight it and go. I have made a really good friend at school and I dont know what I would have done with out her this year. I probably wouldnt have made it. And I cant tell her enough how much she saved my life this year. Well I will keep you posted.


Love ya Donna lea

Well well well

Well Well Well , I dont really know lol. So this last couple of weeks have been so crazy . I have been going through something and I m having to fight like hell to get out of it. It by far is one of the hardest thing I have been through it just takes so much out of you . It is crazy well I just wanted to let everyone know Im ok Ill right more later.

What a trip

Hey guys wow I had so much fun In Boston it was so great to just get away. I got to go see where my favorite Baseball team played and that was awesome and taking picture and letting my dad see was great to because it his favorite team to and he loved it. It was nice just to relax well I got some sad news on Friday. My Pastor and a guy I have known most of my life passed away and it was so hard because he always took care of us and was an amazing man helped anyone no matter what. he will be missed so much . I love you Mr. B
so Im gonna just end right there and we need to keep that family in prayer.

I miss you

Well I m not going to be on tomorrow but to let everyone know its gonna be a rough day for me. My Best Friend that passed away in 04 its her Birthday tomorrow its rough every year for me. I m gonna need everyone tomorrow. she would be 20 so its really hard just sitting here typing this. But the song of the day for tomorrow is "I hope you Dance by Leann Walmack Heres for you Kelsey I miss you. I hope you never lose your sense of wonder can you feel the heat but always keep that hunger may you never take one single breath for granted God for bid ill never leave you empty handed. I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean when ever one door closes. I ll hold one more open promise me that you'll give Faith a Fighting Chance and when you get the choice to sit it out or Dance.........
I hope you dance, I hope you Dance" .
I love you and miss you so much.


In Loving Memory of Kelsey Leann Clary.

What A Day

So it is Friday the 13th yay. Well we were brought up as it is a good day in my family. But today has been really rough. I have been going through alot and I dont know what it is so its kinda scary. I have been sick and I dont know whats wrong with me. This is how my day started off I woke up at 7am and I was really dizzy so I had to wait till it passed before I could go to work well I get to work and it has just been crazy. But I know everyone is ready for spring break so I understand but still I only have to make it through one more job and than I m off for the next 9 days I cant wait. Because I m just so stressed out I dont know if that is maybe making me sick? I dont know but I dont like it. So here we go my song for today is by Jo Dee Messina Its called "My Give a Damn's Busted- I really want to care I want to feel something let me dig a little deeper, No sorry nothing my give a damns busted" This is how we feel some times and This is how my day is. Another Great one to help me get through the day is by Jamie Oneal and its called "God dont make mistakes - It was one of those days were she couldn't find a single ray of sunshine and there wasn't even a cloud up in the sky." Dont you just feel like that I can tell you I feel like that a lot but than I remember That God does not give us anything we cant handle. And sometimes your just like why this why now well I learn you never question God because everything happened s for a reason you might not see it at the time but some where down the road it will come along and you will go. I get it now. God is amazing and I m having to stop and look around and realize that he is always here no matter what. Now that I m on this I have another song by George strait called " I saw God today - Ive been to church Ive read the book I know he's hear but I dont look near as often as I should yeah I know I should his fingerprints are every where I'd just slow down to stop and stare open my eyes and man I swear I saw God today" So leaving on that note lets have a great week.

Well?

Wow what a year and we are only three months into it.
So I finally got in to my new place. I got my car working again yay.
Broke up with the guy I was gonna marry . Working to long and it sucks.
Its just been crazy already. Well my best friend is having a baby girl in May so Im really looking forward to that cant wait. I m leaving for Boston on the 16 and coming back on the 21 I need a nice break to go find out what I m doing and were I m going again like I did in the summer because things are great dont get me wrong I just have been being stupid and messing up and that not good. And not me at all I mean I mess up but not like what I have been doing. So this is now time for me to turn things around and get back on the path I need to be on. I need to see what I really want to do in my life and start doing it and stop doing thing that might change that. I need my friend now more than ever. And I have great friend that always stand beside me no matter what I do they dont judge me they help me through it. What more could I ask for so this is a new start from here on out. You have to take care of the past before you can move on and I m learning that. I guess something take longer to heal and I know that because I m still trying to heal from 2004 its hard. But I m glad my friends understand and work with me on it . So to everyone thank you so so so so so so much.

When push comes to shove you taste what your made of

Life for me over the last couple of months has been crazy and some of you know.
A lot of fights have started around my house. But at the end of the day they are still your family. I have finally found the one guy I want to be with. I love him so much he is so amazing and knows something is wrong before I even say anything. I miss him so much he does not live here yet. I cant wait till March Baby. And my best friends got my back like I have got hers. We have made it through so much over the last couple of years. And have a life time of ups and downs to go. But thanks girl. So I have gotten hurt a lot over the last month. I dis located my tumb. I fell and hurt my good knee my bad knee is still messed up. And I work to much again. 70+ a week. I did not start college. I will soon I have to I have a lot going for me and cant wait to see what is ahead. I finally stood my ground. Like the Rascal Flatts song goes "When push comes to shove you taste what your made of you might been till you break because thats all you can take on your knee you look up decide you've had enough you get mad you get strong wipe your brow sake it off Then you STAND.

Gosh

What is with everything. I guess just going through another rough patch you know. I met this really great guy the other night and we were talking and we were gonna start dating. But I tould him no. No really gosh I have not been that happy in a long time. But he was not the guy for me. Right now my family is my everything and I AM STILL YOUNG. All me friends are talking about moving out and all that but I cant right now I have to much here. Well I am starting college in a couple of weeks and with both jobs its gonna be go go go non stop. AGAIN....... I got to go out with Kara all weekend that was really nice I miss that. Me and my sister got in a really big fight and have really not talked sense then. You know I refer to music alot. One of my favorite bands Mayday Parade has this song called Miserable at best. And one line says " The hardest part of living is just taking breathes to stay" Gosh that is so true because we tend to give up to early and sometimes its just so hard just going on after you feel like you have been kicked down so many times. And you can never get up. Another one is by OneRepublic its called Stop and Stare. And it says "Yeah I know that everyone gets scared but Ive become where I CANT". This is just how I feel about everything right now.

Out of town and finding myself

Hey Guys I am in Virginia visiting some friends. Taking a break from my crazy life. I am getting to sleep in not work thats nice, swim, my favorite sit down and read a book I am loving that. But most of all I am finding me. I know that might sound crazy you might ask how are you finding you well I have fallen off my road. With God my faith started running low and I did not like that feeling. I was getting in to a lot of fights with my family and just being mad all the time. I got to the point that I did not like that side of me. I was drinking over a problem and thats not good I had to get out of all that mess. As some people say it TAKING A STEP BACK. Well so far I m not doing to bad on this road so far. My faith is really good started reading this book about footprints in the sand and it tell you line by line what it means and it is helping me realize God is with us no matter what. I lost that feeling. But I guess you have to hit rock bottom before you can come back up right? Well I have not done this all alone I have had a really great susport team my best friend in the whole world never left my side and was telling me when I just needed to stop. And some great people from work both jobs Lora thanks you really kept me going everytime I felt like giving up you were there. Thank You so much. And Tommy I know your always there and you just listen. Shawna you are awesome you have become a great friend to me. Thanks. Jas and Lori thanks for opening up your home to me and just listening to everything alot of people would not let an 18 year old fly across country to stay with them. You guys are great. Ms. Hunt and Kelley you guys are always there and I know that. Elisabeth,Tiffany, and Brandy my sisters what ever is wrong you guys keep my head up amazing I could not have asked for a better set of friends. And my FAMILY and that is you to brit. Thanks you guys did not know what was going on just that I needed a break and you let me have that. I LOVE YOU AL SO MUCH. I have came to find that I cant do everything but that I can try. LOL You can only work so much. And with me turning 18 and already feeling so grown up I needed to look at my life and I did. Again thank you to every one .

LOVE ALWAYS Donna LEA

Music

Wow gosh everything has been so hard but I know it gets worse before it gets better. Most of you know I love music and use a lot of lyrics to get through the day. Well one song that I really love Is "Life aint always Beautiful by Gary Allen" . And one line says "No,life aint always beautifulTears will fall sometimes Life aint always beautiful But it's a beautiful ride" No one can argue with that because no matter had bad things get you can always make it through and say I made it through it stronger than when I went in. And I have had to do a lot of me searching this last month its really hard going through something and not being able to talk about it with your family. But God never gives us something we cant handle. And another great some that has helped me is the song by Rascal Flatts called Everyday. And it reminds me so much of my best friend that I know will never leave my side and it says "You could've bowed out gracefully But you didn'tYou knew enough to knowTo leave well enough alone but you would'nt". "Everyday you save my life". The whole song talks about that one person and how no matter how bad things get their there. They never back down and always know when something is wrong its amazing and a great song. We all need some one like that to make it through life it you did not have that some one Were would you be? I know were Id be. Pretty broken up beaten down I would have hit rock bottom and stayed there. So if you ever need something to make it through the day just think of a song like the one for me and my best friend Kara the song by Taylor Swift " Im only me when Im with you"

Friends

Here are some of those great people in your life that will Never let you Walk alone. I have found out in the passed couple of months witch of my friends are standing there when I fall. In this picture above we had a great time I found out that day if you fall (no really) fall on your butt you can bet your BEST FRIEND is sitting right next to you on theres to. I have grown so much over this last year. when someone tells you its time for you to grow up and get your own friends learn to stand on your two feet you do. But they made the mistake they were the ones that needed to lean on you. Well "when life started throwing you fast balls you learn how to hit them as she learned how to RUN"

What Happened

Ok what happened to this?
I dont know anymore. Life has been so crazy this year. My family forgot how to act like a family. When will it be enough. When will someone beside me STAND UP and say IM DONE!!! How much can one person really take in this life?

Trying to find the time

Hi everyone I just wanted to let you know I am trying to find the time to talk to everyone. Life has been rough but things are getting better. Well I just wanted to ask how many of us drive by churchs everyday and look at the signs? Well I never did before until about a month ago when I saw this sign that said ( WHAT IS IN HELL THAT YOU WANT) and that got me thinking we go through life everyday and never realize that everything we do is counted. That is something to think about. So now I everytime I drive by a church I read the signs. Try it sometime. Ok well I have to go to bed because I have to get up at 6 am.


Love Ya
Donna Lea

64 hour week

Wow this past week was so crazy. I started my new job that I love so much. I work at A.C.NEW middle school it is great. But that was only one of that crazy parts I also still work at Krogers. So it was hard at first but things will get better. Me and my sister are doing better we are working things out.

Hurt

Hurt? We all have been hurt somehow by someone. But what happens when the person you love so much and would do anything for has hurt you to many times? And everybody says you dont need them but you do. My Cousin found this song called (miserable at best) By MayDay Parade and in the chorus it says (I can live without her but without her I ll be miserable at best). It is so ture. I love how music helps us through everything. No matter what I will always love her because she is my sister, But Im tired of never getting to hang out with her with out us fighting or her boyfriend being there or even a friend. Can we just be a family again? I dont know.

Been Going through alot.

Wow I have had a really tough last couple of weeks. Mom was in the hospital for three and a half week and keeping an open mind was hard. Going to work and trying to keep it together and being at home and trying not to cry. Wow it was hard. That just show how my strong my family really is, just being there for each other. It was something we needed. It showed us how to be a family again.